Show Notes

Kayla: Welcome back to The Designer Practice Podcast, and I’m your host, Kayla Das.

Are you a practice owner who’s currently planning on growing your family, but you’re just unsure how you can take time away from your practice without feeling the financial impacts of not seeing clients?

Well, in today’s episode, Rachel Sansone, social worker, psychotherapist, and one of my very close friends, we are going to discuss private practice and maternity leave and how to prepare for your leave of absence.

Hi Rachel. Welcome to the show. I’m so glad to have you here today,

Rachel: Kayla. Thanks for having me on.

Kayla: Just a side note, throughout the episode, Rachel and I will be pulling from our own experiences, which are quite different in every way possible. So we are super excited to share our experiences.

Our goal in today’s episode is not to demonstrate that our way is the right way, but just to show that there’s different ways to prepare for a maternity or paternity leave if you are expecting.

So, Rachel, before we dive into today’s episode, please introduce yourself, where you’re from, and tell us a little bit about your private practice journey.

Rachel: So, my name’s Rachel Sansone, as you said, registered social worker, master’s in social work. And I practice psychotherapy in a private setting. I was thinking about this being on maternity leave. I kind of lost that elevator pitch that we get used to saying. So, I mean, I’m a private practitioner. I’ve worked a lot with post-secondary students and I started my practice in 2019. That’s when I did the Big Leap and I was thinking about this. I’m thinking, okay, I’m going to go talk to Kayla. She’s going to ask me these questions. It really got me thinking about all the things I forgot in the journey. I think that’s a cool way of saying it. It is a journey. Because I was still doing my master’s when I started my first real private practice as a subcontractor.

So, I was at the group practice and working for someone else, but also still being on my own. But it wasn’t until 2019 where I said, okay, I’m going to do this. So, it’s a little bit about myself. I’m really into mindfulness-based practices into ACT and DBT. And then as I’ve grown as a person and in my own professional work, I’m kind of leaning into stepmom work with individual therapy and groups.

But I think my point is mentioning those building steps. Well, I was reminded of right when the pandemic hit and I was new to my practice 2019. I signed up for one of those like independent practices through the big website you make practically nothing. And that really helped me build up my case load until I had that confidence to take that big, big leap. Cut all the ties from everyone.

Yeah, it’s been a journey and in that I didn’t even mention working at community mental health agencies, working within the university, all of that, leading to that decision that, you know what, I want to have more control. And then what’s leading us here to our conversation when it all came to a halt in 2023 when I had a baby.

Kayla: That’s amazing. So how old is your child? Two years old and two months. Yeah, my daughter is going to be 19 months old. And so, I think that that’s really important for the context of this episode because it shows kind of where our children are when we talk about our maternity experiences.

So, prior to maternity leave, did you have a plan for your leave of absence? And if so, did your initial plan play out as you would expect?

Rachel: I mean, fair question and it’s a complicated one because I’m going to say yes and no. I thought I had a plan. I really, truly thought I had a plan. I thought I was being honest when I sat with my clients and said, I’ll see you in the fall, which would’ve been four or five months later.

So, at that time, I was due end of May, Damien ended up taking an extra 10 days to get here. So, he wasn’t born until June. But I had really thought, you know what? Four or five months. I had this fantasy that he would like nap and I would run downstairs and I’d see a client. And that’s what happens when you’re a first-time mom. I didn’t have experience with babies, so yeah, my plan was to hustle, save a lot of money, see some clients part-time, and then it didn’t turn out as expected.

Four or five months in I recognized really quickly that that wasn’t happening, and I can kind of explain that a little bit more. I mean, part of the plan was that again, yeah, he would nap perfectly, I would go downstairs. But then I really, really, really leaned into attachment parenting, and that looks like co-sleeping, contact napping. Breastfeeding. When breastfeeding was challenging. Then, I have bottles and pumping that takes up a lot of time and energy.

I also had a fantasy that I would have my mom and this massive village of people coming in and not to throw anyone under the bus. It just didn’t happen the way that I thought it was going to happen, and I don’t blame my mom. I was doing something radically different. Then she had ever done with me. So that’s my answer. And then we can talk about maybe like how do I changed it? But yeah, that’s what my plan ended up looking like.

Kayla: I love that you share that. And I think my answer is similar to you. Like I did have a plan and in some ways, it worked out, but in a lot of ways I didn’t plan for certain things. I knew I was going to go back to work really soon. So just for context, I went back five months after my daughter was born. But I actually had myself on wait list for daycares. I think I was like couple months pregnant and I put my name on wait list for daycares. And I still wasn’t on by the time she was ready to go. So, at the last minute was like looking for a day home, which I love and I’m so appreciative. And I do think it was the best for our family, but it was more like a, I need something now. And I was scrambling because I was like, I can’t take, too much time off, and I knew that I wanted to go back sooner than later.

In saying that, when I did go back, I assumed that she’s going to be in daycare every day, I was going to get so much done. She has literally been sick at least once a month. I think there might have been a couple months since where she hasn’t been sick, but for the most part, she’s sick for a week. Then I get sick for a week. So, then I’m off for two weeks of a month. And canceling clients and we’ll talk a little bit about passive income because that’s really what kept me alive and. It’s one of the big things that I’ve always on this podcast, you know, encourage people to consider is having passive income streams.

But yeah, it was tough and I always said, I know there’s protections, but I was like, if I was at a job, I would totally be fired because I was missing so much time. But of course, I work for myself so I’m not going to fire myself. So, it really was more challenging than I had ever expected.

Rachel: Yeah, I’ve heard that and I forgot, so it was around five months for you when she went to daycare or day home, you guys call it? Yeah, no. So, it was around the same time. I think an important thing to maybe bring into the conversation is why that timeframe was even coming up for me.

One was because of a natural kind of season, like September is when students come back to school, and I was working with the university students quite a bit. But also my partner’s American, and for any of you kind of American listeners, you’re familiar that maternity leave is pretty short. We’re talking very short six weeks. Obviously, it can go up from there depending on where you work and what you’re doing.

But my partner and his family, they expected me to be back to work really early. And also having a private practice. I mean, I don’t have maternity leave. And we’re going to talk more about the money because that’s what we’re all kind of curious about because it’s the hardest part, I think. One of the harder parts.

But for me, I had that in my head, I should be getting back to work. And so that’s when the plan kind of started to shift. When I’m like, I can’t even think straight, I can’t sit down and read a book at four or five months in my situation. And where I am, London, Ontario, and I’ll mention that because I might drop Western University where I’ve done some work.

Kayla: So, as you just mentioned, I know one of the biggest challenges or worries for many private practice owners is the financial impact that leaving their private practice for any amount of time can have on their finances. Did you have a financial plan before maternity leave? And if so, what did that look like for you? And again, did it pan out the way you had hoped?

Rachel: So, I did. I had a plan. I saved. I saved a lot of money as much as I could at that time. So that would’ve been 2022. I had a thriving practice. I essentially had wait list, fully booked. I’d also reached a peak in my career. I was then teaching at Brescia university College, so I was teaching a course. So, I was like, I was feeling it. That was great, putting money aside. And again, because I had this fantasy that I would only really need to save up money for four or five months. That’s when I started realizing, oh my God, I’m not ready to go back to work. I’m not ready to leave, Damien. That’s where I had to shift gears and I really was like, oh my God, what am I going to do?

And I learned about using my retirement savings plan. I always thought if you used your RSPs, that you’d be really penalized. But it looks a lot different when your income is low or you have no income. And part of being in private practice is having had contributed a lot with the whole taxes and trying to kind of manage that. So, I had some money to work with, so that’s actually what I ended up doing. So, have you had asked me when I was nine months pregnant? You know, what is your plan? What are your finances going to look like? I never would’ve thought. Oh, I’m going to be using my retirement savings plan. But I did a pivot. And to be honest, I’m so, so grateful that I learned about that option because I didn’t know it existed. I didn’t conceive of it being an option with maternity leave for private practice.

The way I look at it is that with this amazing job that we have, having your own business, I will be able to earn in the future much differently. Then I would if I were just working for a company. And so that’s kind of the justification that I had in my own mind. I also contributed more because of the private practice work.

So even though someone might say, you’re draining your retirement savings, I’m like, I had all these savings to do something like this. And after some big conversations with my partner making that decision, and we actually decided that I would stay home until Damian was three. It’s a massive shift from four to five months,

Kayla: And I think that’s why I’m so grateful for you to be on the podcast today is because our experiences are very different. Like I went back after five months, you are planning to go back around three years. And our goal for today’s episode is to show that no matter what you choose for your maternity or paternity leave. There are so many options.

Now in saying that, I want to also share my experience with finances too, because it is one of the worries and it actually is one of the reasons why people don’t go into private practice. Because they’re worried whether it’s maternity leave or whether it’s like sick time or whatever is that they won’t have enough for that time.

So, for me, like I said, I was off for five months. Now, I’ve been talking on the podcast about passive income for quite some time, and I had five passive income streams in 2024. I have eight now, and working on a ninth. And it really did help me bring in money. Now you might say, was it enough to take five months off? I’m going to be super honest, my spouse also helped me. But in saying that, I also had some money put away too. So, I mean, there was the putting the money away, there’s the passive income, and then of course, my spouse helping me as well. And it was five months.

Saying that I did have to stop obviously one-to-one sessions, so like that was the bulk, and I don’t want to say still is, I would say my passive income and my one-to-ones are probably like equal in income now. But back then it wasn’t as equal. So, it was a huge part of my income.

Something I will say that I looked into when I got pregnant is here in Canada. We all know about EI and we know it about EI when it comes to working in a company. And as business owners, if we wanted to, we could pay into EI. Now, this is something you would need to speak to your accountant about. I am not going to say that I know the ins and outs, but I did look into it. I was like, oh, I’m one month pregnant. Can I start contributing to EI now? And interestingly enough, for business owner to be able to claim EI according to what I had found, you need to be paying into EI for about a year before you claim it if something did happen, like maternity leave or whatnot. So of course I couldn’t do that.

Really why I’m sharing that today is because if this is something that you are worried about down the road, if it were me, I would talk to my accountant about is paying into EI as a business owner worth it for me? And I think that that’s also an option for Canadian listeners, which we don’t really think about it. Because we don’t pay to EI traditionally. So that’s also another thing to consider when you are a private practitioner providing that that’s an option for you.

Rachel: And to note on the EI is something I actually looked into. I’m one of those people that I just can’t, I’m just looking at everything. I love research. I love finding the answer. And I think that’s an important thing to mention, Kayla, you have to look at all the options because what might not work for me might work for you. Or someone else, which is what we’re talking about.

The EI, when I started private practice, and I knew I was like wanting to have a baby. I was seeking it out a bit and I didn’t seem worth it to me. It seemed like, well, I could put that money in the bank. But I think everyone has to do their own equations. I am not an accountant, as we used to joke about in social work school. We don’t do math.

So, like don’t come to me for that kind of advice. But it is something that I looked at and said, you know what? I think I’d feel better putting it aside or putting it in RSPs or whatever. But it’s good to know your options. You’re not excluded from it as a private practitioner.

Kayla: I think the other thing to also consider too, with EI, you can’t make any additional income. So, if you’re taking maternity leave, you’re taking maternity leave. And depending on your business structure, which is beyond the scope of this particular episode, if you make passive income, that’s income, right? So, you have to claim that and you may not get. EI and things like that too.

So again, just like you said, this is not professional advice when it comes to accounting, but being people who had just did our own research to see like, is this worth it? One, it was definitely too late for me anyway, but it wouldn’t have been worth it for me either.

Rachel: You know, it will probably get there, but you bring up a good point. So now I do see a few clients. I might not say, oh, Damien doesn’t go in full-time care. But I do get that opportunity to make a little bit of money. So yeah, exactly. It’s finding what fits your life and your lifestyle, and that’s one of the tips I want to talk about later is sit down and dream. Think about it. What do you want?

Kayla: Absolutely. So, I know Rachel, we talked about this offline as being friends, but do you think that being a therapist has shaped your parenting style or influenced who you are as a mom?

Rachel: Yeah, I mean, and I think this is one I’m going to get to reflect on even more and more because I think it’s almost like a chicken and the egg thing. I think my personality influence how I’m a therapist and how I’m a therapist mom. Yeah. So, it’s all like one big circle, right.

Absolutely. So, as I said, I’m always wanting to learn, learn, learn. Look everything up. I have a passion about self-reflection. And so, my professional life reflects that. And then of course, having a baby, I really want to bring in all that information and knowledge and experience to this little human that I get to kind of honestly mold and program. Sounds weird, but that’s how I see it. So yeah.

Kayla: I love that. And I love that you brought up personality too, because I think you’re right. It really is like chicken and the egg. Is it that you are a therapist because of your personality, and then the information that you learn from being a therapist inform your parenting practices?

One thing that I think about is when I worked with parents before being a mom. I really do believe in self-care. So, when I say this example, like I don’t want to dis self-care, but I always really focused on self-care and prioritizing your needs. And usually, a mom would say that they prioritize themselves last. And I didn’t really understand. So, a big part of what we tried to do was how can we start focusing on you first? Even though in theory that is a good practice because you need to care for yourself before you care for others.

In reality, it’s very, very tough. If I had all of the time back that I thought I didn’t have before having a baby, I would really love that time back. But in saying that, having my daughter is also one of the best things that’s ever happened to me too. So, it’s interesting because you just kind of learn how to navigate your life differently. And you look at the world differently.

When it comes to being a therapist shaped my parenting style. I think the information and the knowledge has definitely helped, but I think it’s also a curse and a blessing. So, I get really overwhelmed with all the research. So, seeing all that research and knowing all of the information. In practicality doesn’t always fit my lifestyle. Also, I think my personality also frames how I parent too, but it’s also how I show up in my practice as being a therapist. So, it’s like my personality, being a therapist, the information, being a mom. So, I mean, I don’t know if that even really even answers it. I also think a little bit more beyond that. I think why I came to be a therapist also is reflected on my personality too.

Rachel: Yeah, a hundred percent. And I mean, if we’re going to go specifically to like me as a therapist, absolutely. Those early lessons on attachment theory and everything that brings us into our practice. Mindfulness and respect. And when I say mindfulness, it’s so overused. But being intentional, not reactive, responding. And in order to do that, having to be conscious, having to be aware, is this intergenerational trauma coming up? Is this me showing up according to my values? So, in that regard, yes.

And as I mentioned earlier, and for me, the research, if I’m being honest, OCD. I don’t know if it’s an OCD thing, but it makes me think of the cycle of OCD. So for the therapist that can think of that cycle, for me, the anxiety comes up and I’m like, okay, now I got to look at the information and I get that relief. For me, it really is relieving. And I’m finding those answers, but I go all in. And I think Damien, he was born. I don’t know how I came upon it because of course, I’m a first-time mom by myself. I’m looking up everything and I discovered the book, Nurture Revolution, and that really was impactful, validating some of what I thought was more natural, whether it be co-sleeping or contact napping. And that led me down that path even more.

And so, I connect this to the therapist kind of question because that’s the kind of therapist I am. I meet with clients, something shows up, I connect it to things I know, but then I’m looking for things I don’t know. And I’m also always trying to tie it back to evidence-based, but I’m remembering that we’re human and not everything can show up in black and white data. So yeah, it’s been just so interesting. It all really is.

Kayla: No, a hundred percent. Do you think that being a mom has further shaped your therapy style or even your approach to practice ownership as a whole?

Rachel: Yeah, and I don’t think I fully have experienced that yet, because I have my toe in my practice kind of so to speak. I 100% had no idea what moms are talking about. And I don’t want to throw dad to the side, but I say I heard it more from moms about not finding the time. It’s what do you mean you’re here seeing me? You’re asking for these strategies, you’re wanting to change and here you are.

Now, of course, I was empathetic, validating. But I didn’t understand. And I think being a mom or a parent is an experience that you really can’t know until you’re really in it. And I’m a stepmom and so I had younger kids, but not babies, not toddlers. And I didn’t birth them. And there’s really something to it. The hormones, my God, the sleepless nights. The exhaustion. It’s just a completely different way of existing in the world. And so, it absolutely will change how I sit in a room with another mom or parent. And I think as my practice continues to go, honestly, I’m a little more laid back because I think maybe my perspective, my world’s just grown quite literally and symbolically. Everything’s just a little bit different.

And I think I’m able to sit with things with a little more ease. And I don’t know if I can explain that exactly. Because it might not make sense because I’m also dealing with so much more. And I think that contributes to it. I can sit here and it’s going to be okay and maybe I almost feel my human experience has extended a bit, I’ve felt more things now.

I would think about clients sometimes when I was having those hard nights or Damien was having a hard night. I’m tired and I’m feeling distress. I’m thinking about all the skills I’ve ever talked about. And even once I practice, that’s the thing, I thought I was a very skilled human. But motherhood, rocks you. And I don’t say this to scare anyone, but more so to kind of forewarn that it’s a different ride. It’s a new ride and you can’t prepare for everything, especially for things you don’t know. So that’s where the self-compassion is massive. And I always brought self-compassion in with clients, but I think when we’re working with moms and parents of young children, self-compassion needs to be one of the first things that we bring into the room.

Kayla: I think self-compassion and just compassion towards others because. I just know my own experience. Like before being a mom, I have very limited experience with kids prior to having a child. I’m an only child. I didn’t babysit as a kid. I really have very limited experience with kids. And not that I ever judged parents, but like I just didn’t understand the challenges. I didn’t understand why someone could be late because of their kid. I just couldn’t understand. And I think that that’s the big piece. And then when you become a mom, like you understand pretty quick.

I think that that when we think about has being a mom changed my style and how I deal with ownership of a business. My answer is a hundred percent because I have to navigate the fact that my daughter is going to be sick. So, I need to find other ways to navigate that. Even just last night, my daughter was up till one o’clock, then we got up 7:30am and I brought her to the day home.

She threw up all in my hair and this might sound gross, but I couldn’t even shower last night. I had to shower this morning and I have a full day of clients and podcast recordings, so it is like a full day. And these are things that I didn’t have to navigate before being a mom.

Would I trade it? Absolutely not. I love being a mom, like I love having my daughter. But it does shape you and especially when we think about business ownership. How you do things is going to be different. So, there’s a lot of mornings. If my daughter has a really bad night, maybe she gets up four in the morning. I actually get in my car, drive around so she can go to sleep. I take my laptop and write a blog or edit a podcast. I’m literally parked a grocery store parking lot with my laptop for an hour and a half until I could drop her off at daycare, and that is just what I have to do. I didn’t have to do that before.

Rachel: Yeah. I’m over here laughing. You are a special kind of human is what you are because the car part, I’m like, yeah, yeah, I’ve done that too. I sit and write a blog, no. I still have baby brain and Damien’s 22 months old.

One thing that makes me think about, because of all the research that we’re looking at about how we’re going to help our kids, but I don’t know if you’ve heard of the book, All Joy and No Fun.

It’s an important one to think about because it looks at the impact of kids on parents, and it’s real and its real kind of gathering of information. And it’s just saying like, it sucks. It’s really, really hard. It’s traumatic. It’s a traumatic experience. And so, it’s a popular book, All Joy, No Fun. And I think about that often. And my partner will see us coming back from the park. He’s like, do you have fun? Fun. I don’t know if fun is the word I would use to describe watching him walk around in circles and tell me the same sentence 10 times. But yeah, I loved looking at him. A beautiful kid, but it’s a thing you just don’t understand and yeah, I think that’s important to think about.

How it impacted practice ownership, right? Boundaries. I was that therapist that would be like, oh, you’re a little late. No problem. I didn’t ever say that. But it was harder for me to not do cancellation fees. And over the years I have gotten better and as my practice increased and I had a full caseload, you naturally have to do that to protect yourself and your clients and your work.

But when I only have four hours in the week where I’m able to say yes to a client. No, my time’s not flexible the way that it used to be, and so it really impacts how I show up. I increased my rate, I increased it significantly. And I think it was a matter of time to get there where maybe I could have done that Years ago. You and I had many conversations about this. But it really shows you, your value, what you value, your time, how important that is, and clients can choose whether they want to work with you or not. But it put my kind of priorities and what I was bringing to the table in a different light. So, I thought that was pretty significant actually.

Kayla: I am so appreciative that you brought up the boundaries piece and I would agree. And like I, this also goes into prioritization. It’s what is important for you? I used to be able to work from six in the morning until eight at night if I want to, whether it’s therapy sessions, whether it’s podcast editing, whether it’s blog writing, like it didn’t matter what it was like I had all the time in the world. Now, yes, I wasted time during that time. But there was no real limit. I could stay up at night if I wanted to.

However, when I only have my child in daycare from 8:30am to, well, I have to pick her up around quarter to four. And then I have to eat in between there and usually I don’t get to eat in the morning because I feed her first and then I have to come back and eat when I drop her off at daycare. There is very limited time in that day, so you have to really prioritize what is the most important for you. And I think when I look at business in general, I’m like, what is going to give me my biggest bang for my buck? What is going to give me the most long-term success?

When I say long-term success, like one of my big goals now as being a mom is that when she is 4, 5, 6, whatever, and she’s in sports or activities. I want to be that mom who’s there with her. And I know doing one-to-one sessions all the time is not going to help me achieve that goal.

Now that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up one-to-ones completely. Absolutely not. Like I love still having one-to-ones, but maybe not having a full week of one-to-ones. And this is why passive income stream. It’s why I added three passive income streams since I have a child and I’m still adding in another one. It’s because I realize the impact of passive income and that’s going to help me get my goal.

And even though, yes, I have to work on it. It’s a lot easier to write a blog in the car now that’s going to bring in money for the next, hopefully 10 years or more. I mean, obviously there’s optimization techniques and stuff are going to change. But for the most part, my goal is to build assets into my business, not necessarily to always focus on earned income. That’s going to come and go. But as therapists, that is a huge part of our income.

But I think the key here is understanding, what is the goal that you want to achieve moving forward? And what are things you can do today that can help you achieve that? Even if they’re baby steps. Like no one is saying you have to have eight passive income streams tomorrow. But I started with one, then two, then three. I now have eight. Actually, I’m focusing on two more. I’m actually writing two books, a children’s book and a passive income book. So really, it’s actually 10 that I’m working on, 10 passive income streams.

Rachel: No, you are inspiring and I think the passive income streams always impresses me when you’re talking about it. And one of the things that stands out for me, it doesn’t fit my personality that well. And so, I’ve had to go back to what you were saying, I think the key, and this is too, when we’re working with clients in the therapy offices. You need to have a vision. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up where you’re headed. And that’s one of my favorite Buddhist kind of things.

So, if you want to stay where you are and keep doing what you’re doing. But I really needed to see it. I like how you said about the sports and. Yeah, I want to be flexible. I want to go to the middle of the day play or at school. Or for me, I really have this vision of being home or picking Damien up from school. That’s important to me.

So, I’m trying to think about how am I going to make the money that I feel I need my income, and putting that all into play because it’s really that we have that power. It’s the choices that we’re making.

Kayla: I absolutely love that. And couldn’t agree more. So, do you have any additional advice, insights, or tips for listeners preparing for a leave of absence from their private practice for either maternity or paternity leave?

Rachel: So, I jotted a couple down and honestly, we just hit it, like really sit and think about it. Sit in a quiet room and like really, really envision what you want your maternity leave to be, what your values are. I think if I had been honest with myself, I think I knew, honestly. I think I knew I was going to have a hard time with daycare. I didn’t sign up. And in London, the wait lists are over a year. I think they’re like a year and a half. I didn’t do it. So, I think I knew inside. Yes, they had other kinds of ideas, but ultimately, I knew myself. So, I think if we can be honest with what we’re available for, look at the financial aspect, of course. I’m also privileged; my partner is supportive. They came around, we looked at the research.

That’s another thing we didn’t really talk about that there is some research out there that made me feel that it was in the best interest of not only me, but for Damien to have him at home as much as I could. And so that played into my decision. And everyone has their tree for decision making, and I think knowing yourself and what feels good for you, the other tips really are the things that we always hear. But I’m asking you to listen and begging you to really sit down and think about what your village looks like and if you are breaking cycles in how you show up, looking at your family of origin. And how you want to be parenting. Recognizing that it will be difficult when hormones and stressed and you aren’t sleeping a lot.

I was really surprised at how my defenses for judgment just gone. I felt so vulnerable to– and I’m not saying that people were judging. I think there was absolutely. But I felt it even when maybe there wasn’t, or I just felt so vulnerable to what other people were thinking, even though prior to that. Again, talk to me at nine months. Ugh. I’ve got my practices down. I’m self-reflective. I’ve got all these things. I know my stuff. It changes you. You are in great distress. So really thinking about how that’s going to look, the people in your life and building those things in.

We’re almost at two years, and I don’t know where you’re at Kayla with this, but I’m still transitioning and I think they even say it takes four or five years. But I’m not myself. I’m not my pre-baby. I don’t think I ever will be. But you take on this massive role, this role that never stops and it’s constantly evolving. Keeping that in mind too, thinking about the kind of therapist you want to be, the kind of provider you want to be, the kind of mom and parent you want to be and hopefully when you have all those values and those kind of visions, then you can decide the path that will get you there.

Yeah, those are my tips. RSPs, maybe you’re like, that girl sounds crazy, or maybe you think it’s a good idea for you, but just I’m always a fan of endless possibilities. Look at everything. How would you show up if I gave you $5 million? Because is it just about the money?

Is that often a thing that helped me make my decisions? Am I doing this because of money or am I doing it because like, this is what matters to me?

Kayla: And sometimes there’s a balance between both.

Rachel: For sure.

Kayla: There’s a few things, I want to touch on there too. I think for me, if I were to give any tips is, even though it’s natural to have expectations about your maternity, about your parenting, even about your pregnancy, it’s also to be flexible with your expectations.

Because I think if I take one thing away from today, from both of our experiences is that our expectations, although we kind of and very loosely got what we thought we would expect. The word loose is there for a reason, because there’s a lot of things we had not expected to happen and they did. And I think that that’s a big piece of it is that even though you have an idea, it’s still being comfortable with not being comfortable, I guess, if that’s the case. Especially when it comes to business ownership.

And you also identified the vision, and I think that that’s great. Because we talked about the vision for your practice overall. Like talking about, you know, being able to be there for your kids later on. However, also having a clear vision on what your maternity leave will look like. But then of course also that flexibility with the expectations too. The vision of who’s going to be surrounding you? Where are you going to be getting your income? What kind of parent do you want to be?

Also, the other thing is, and this is what I struggled with very early on, is the expectations from other healthcare providers. That was my biggest, biggest stress, at least the first six months of my daughter’s life. She was on the lower end of the bell curve, and for the first at least three months, if not four providers were– and was this the intention? I don’t think this is the case, but I took it as blaming me for her being small.

However, once she started having the data put on her chart that she is following the curve, she’s just on the lower end. Even to this day, she is still on the lower end.

It’s also understanding that for me it was a struggle, but now I understand that although the healthcare providers had to tell me this information, I did at the end of the day, after a lot of conversations with my partner, with my friends like you, Rachel, I began to realize that some of this information, although helpful, it’s not necessarily something that reflects you as a mother or even your kids’ growth moving forward.

Rachel: I think you tapped into a whole other episode. Because absolutely. All of that, if you choose to breastfeed, my God, the journey that that is. There’s so many things, so much advice out there, so many opinions, and you’re right like that curve. It takes time to develop and get that data and be able to see, okay, how is this actually looking?

It’s really, really challenging and having that flexibility and honestly learning to trust that inner knowing because that was something that showed up. There is a mother’s instinct, and I apologize to keep going to the mom. I know that there are dads to be, or men, or non-identifying folks out there, but I’m speaking from my experience. And my experience is really hearing that motherly knowing and instinct. And yes, we want to listen to the available info, but we do need to listen to what our gut’s telling us when it comes to being a mom.

Kayla: Absolutely. So, Rachel, if any listener would like to learn more about you and your practice, how can they reach out?

Rachel: Right now, the website’s probably the best way, and that’s my name. I’m sure Kayla will have it in the notes. So rachelsansone.ca because I am in Canada. And yeah, I mean if you Google me, you’ll probably find me in other, but I’m an email person. My website could use a little updating on my many things to do, but it’s a nice little snapshot of where I’ve been.

Kayla: Fabulous. So, check out Rachel’s website at rachelsansone.ca,

Or you can simply scroll down to the show notes and click on the link.

Rachel, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today to discuss private practice and maternity leave, preparing for a leave of absence.

Rachel: Thanks for having me. It was fun.

Kayla: Thank you everyone for tuning into today’s episode, and I hope you join me again soon on The Designer Practice Podcast.

Until next time, bye for now.

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