Show Notes

Kayla: Welcome back to The Designer Practice Podcast, and I’m your host, Kayla Das.

Are you preparing to take a therapist licensing exam but you’re worried about failing or perhaps you’ve received a failing grade on your latest try?

Well, in this episode of The Designer Practice Podcast, Vanessa Iceton, Registered Psychologist will share strategies for how to overcome failing a therapist licensing exam.

Hi Vanessa. Welcome to the show. I’m so glad to have you here today.

Vanessa: Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Kayla: Vanessa, before we dive into today’s episode, please introduce yourself, where you’re from. Tell us a little bit about your practice and your therapist licensing journey.

Vanessa: Yeah, so I born and raised in Edmonton, Alberta, and I currently practice in Edmonton as well. I have a private practice on the west end of Edmonton, and I’m currently in the process of building up my practice.

So, my licensing journey was a challenging one to say the least. It was pretty long. I would say overall it took me about six years to finally come to become fully registered.

So I would say that I graduated in 2017 in December, and then I started my licensing exam journey probably in January of 2018. I had applied for a couple programs out there that helped with some of the work and some of the background knowledge that you’re needing to kind of go forward with that. And I would say overall it was very, very challenging for me.

In my history, in past, I struggled in school, so that was something that I knew that I would struggle with. But I kind of went into this exam thinking, you know what? I got this and confidently thought that I was going to pass quite quickly, probably not really knowing that there was I guess going to be a lot more challenges coming my way and realistically, yeah. I went into that exam the first time with no really background knowledge.

I hadn’t really studied and I failed miserably. So I was like, okay. So I kind left there feeling a bit defeated, but I was like, you know what? I didn’t really study. I’ll go from there. So the second time I went in, I had a lot more study time behind me. Still went in pretty much miserably failed. At this point, I was like super defeated. I’m like, okay, how do people do this?

At the time as well, you were allowed to have as many takes at the exam that you wanted, which wasn’t really ideal in the sense that it was like, okay, if I fail, I can just keep going. Which, that was my concept of like, it’s fine. I can fail.

Knowing my core belief in my history in past was I am a failure. I think that this exasperated the self-sabotage behaviors where there was times where I really intensely studied and then there was times where I did not really kind of put full force effort in and it showed. And so there was a very up and down rollercoaster of failing and my marks, I guess, or the scaled score that came out was really up and down.

And it really didn’t reflect the amount of effort that I was putting in. So ultimately, I failed 11 times. By the, I guess I would say ninth time the College of Alberta psychologists had implemented a three-pass time, I think. So that was in 2023 January they implemented this.

So I was like, oh my goodness, okay, here’s where I need to like start getting my life together. And I now only have a so many times. So I went in and wrote it in the February of 2023. Ended up failing again, with still a higher score, but not enough to pass. Then, I think it was in June, I went back and rewrote it again. Still ended up failing with only increasing my Mark A little bit. So I was like, you know what? Kind of was just like f it, so to speak and I was like, you know what? Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe being a registered psychologist isn’t where I’m going to go. This is not my life journey. And I really started questioning my identity, my sense of self, my career choices. The path that I took I was already in the six year mark of passing my master’s program and I was like, wow, this is that one thing that I like, have dreamt of and I just can’t do it.

So I started looking at other routes. What else can I do with my master’s? I can be a CCC, I can go in a different direction. Really looked at other paths in life for me, and I just succumbed to the fact that I was like, okay, here’s where I’m at. And then in December I was like, you know what? I need a completely new environment. I ended up applying to take the exam in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

My parents had recently met some random people out there, so they were like, hey, my daughter’s writing an exam. Can she stay with you? And I drove out to Saskatoon a couple days earlier. So this was my third and final kind of 12th attempt overall, and I ended up passing.

So finally, I think that final headway of really just accepting the defeat and the failure and being like, you know what? I’m okay with like a different path if this isn’t where my life is going to lead me. And through all the trials and tribulations, I ended up finally passing. And I think that was what I needed, was just to let that guard down and not be defensive and start believing in something else. And my dream came true of passing the licensing exam.

Kayla: I really appreciate you coming on the podcast today and being so vulnerable with your story because you know, we hear it all too often, therapists say they worry about really any particular situation, whether it’s failing a therapist licensing exam, whether it’s starting a private practice like that fear, that self-doubt. Those negative beliefs about oneself. And especially when a block does show up, like failing a therapist licensing exam, it’s easy to be like, okay, you know what? I’m not meant for this and you didn’t give up.

You didn’t give up and you were able to get your dream, and I bet you there was lots of lessons you learned along that way, both internally and probably just with the exam as a whole.

Vanessa: Yeah, definitely. I think the lessons were a kick in the butt, so to speak. I think there was a lot of things that I hadn’t really learned before. I think that failure is inevitable, and whether that’s in the process of taking the mock exams, answering a cue card incorrectly when you’re studying. And talking with friends and being like, hey, I failed. The process of it, of really just that defeat and that self-reflection of really being like, okay, you can fail and it’s okay.

The pass rate even of this exam is astronomically low in the regards of being able to pass it on the first time. So when you ultimately look at having that three times as this pressure. It really puts things into perspective being like, okay.

And I know that other industries also have that three exam mark, where it’s like, okay, after that then what? And I think that was something that I also really reflected on in that lesson that I learned of being like this is something that you’ve done. This is something that you need patience in. I think patience was probably virtue for me, and I know that’s like a big phrase that’s out there, but I really took it to heart being like, I need to be patient with and kind with myself.

I didn’t probably have a lot of self-compassion before that. I’m a very hard person on myself. I think that’s extremely challenging to be patient and kind and really sit back and be like, it’s okay. And sometimes we just need that break. And I took a lot of breaks. It took me six years from beginning to end to pass and there was times in there where I didn’t study for probably like eight months, or I was just doing my own thing.

I’m like, life was on hold for me a lot. And in that process I really grieved my life. I’ve grieved the loss of relationships in that time, friendships. Support of certain people that I relied on. I grieved my life. I didn’t travel during certain times. I really wanted a family and that didn’t happen. So there was a lot of things in life that really stalled.

And I think the biggest lesson that I had to learn was to grieve a lot of those things in that time, six years is a really long time. And I had actually started a study group at my house in my basement at the time. And everyone else, one by one just ended up passing before me and I was like, oh my goodness. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? That I can’t do this? Like I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough. I’m not maybe psychologist enough.

And I had to take a step back and look at this. Exam does not define me, and this is not who I am. This is not what makes me, and this exam is not my identity. And I had allowed it to become my identity. I had this flashing light bulb over me saying I’m a failure. I am failing. And it was really hard to admit at first, and then ultimately once I passed and I changed that perspective into I’m successful at failing and I’m okay with that and utilizing that going forward, being like, it’s okay to fail. I can only learn from my past mistakes and utilize this going forward with a different perspective.

And even as you mentioned, some of that self-doubt and some of the self-worth that I had, and even opening up a private practice and quitting my full-time corporate job, the financial stability of that and benefits, and I was like, oh my goodness. Like I cannot fail at this. I cannot fail at another thing. I really had to be like, no, it’s okay. Like you’re going to have bumps in the road and you’re going to learn from them. And here we are kind of building my practice and my business with the confidence and ability. And there is still griefs and losses along the way, but it’s inevitable that I can make things happen and I’m capable.

Kayla: You know, I’m curious, like now having your own practice, being a registered psychologist, do you have those same beliefs that show up for you? Now that you’ve passed, now that this is behind you, do you feel that that reflected who you are today?

Vanessa: Yeah, it did define me to a certain extent. I knew that my belief when I was a child was I am a failure. I really, really struggled in school as a kid. Like I am shocked that I, even working at today, I really struggled in school, like failing classes, Cs, Ds, like it was a challenge for me.

And there’s some things in my childhood and past that really shaped that core belief that I have about myself with not being able to ask for help and getting yelled at certain points in time, in my journey of education and I was actually accused of plagiarism at one point in time in university and having to retake courses like it’s been a challenge. It’s been a struggle and I think this belief, it doesn’t define who I am, but once I’m aware of it, and I can start to reflect on it. I’m like, ah, it’s what’s inhibiting me right now, or that’s what’s self-sabotaging me right now. And that’s what’s keeping me stuck and it’s holding me back from pursuing maybe that next dream or that next step that I want, that I know that I can achieve.

So ultimately, I’m my own issue standing in my own way, and I just need to take that step aside and move forward.

Kayla: No, that makes sense. So if there’s a listener who is worried about failing a therapist licensing exam, they’ve heard everything that you have had to say, what advice would you have for them?

Vanessa: I think like baby steps, like one step at a time. In particular with the EPPP, knowing that there’s the 11 domains, like taking your time to even take it in the first step is the biggest thing. I super rushed into it. I was like, you know what? I got this. I think we’ve all heard that this exam or any licensing exam is going to be a beast, and that might be in nursing or in doctor school or like any other type of thing, social work, et cetera.

It is a beast, and I think it’s like picking it apart and looking at it into the sum of the whole, so to speak, and being like, okay, taking those little steps. That would be probably the best thing.

Having that support. If I did not have my group or my support system, I don’t know where I would be today. There was a few handful of friends that really stuck with me through the entire process, checked in with me, followed up with me, supported me, came over and answered questions even though they had already passed, which that’s the last thing someone wants to do. So having that support system. And if you’ve already taken it and passed, if you have that person that’s still struggling be that supports person for them, they need that. You know, you do feel abandoned in that process when other people start passing and you really start to look inward, so getting that support system.

I would say the new environment, when I took it in Saskatoon, I felt like it was refreshing. Because I had been so many times, and I know now you can’t go that many times, but being 11 times in that same environment, the people knew me. I was embarrassed, I was humiliated, like I completely changing up the environment really, really helped me. It was a new friendly face. They were like, oh, you know you have accommodations. Here you go.

Which would probably be my next thing. If you know that you already live with some sort of anxiety or struggle with test taking, et cetera, ask for accommodations. Get a note from your doctor and send that off and ask for accommodations. It’s realistic. It’s rational. You can take water in, you can have a little bit longer time. There might be some breaks. You get a separate room. Noise is less. And those were all things that were really, really triggering for me in the exam.

I’m going to say therapy. If I did also not attend therapy at the time, being a therapist and admitting that I needed help at a higher level, it really did save me and I did a lot of EMDR to help desensitize myself in that exam processing period. I was able to finally, by the end, literally walk into that exam with absolutely no anxiety, minus the little spidey butterflies that you get for, oh, that anticipation. But I was able to walk in there with no anxiety and just kind of let myself go and completely be present for that exam, which was extremely helpful. And then having that support of that therapist also.

Then keeping your family and friends close, and still living life, being social, going out. I know the exam can be so consuming. We almost feel guilty if we’re not studying. And I think that we really need to recenter and reground self in those moments of high stress where you need that time to go have a drink with your friend or go outside, enjoy the sun, go camping, et cetera, and use the winter months, I guess, to sit at home if needed. But the summer is a little bit more enjoyable here in Edmonton.

But I would say really those would be the main things that I would think that really just take your time and spend the money wisely. I think over this journey I had lost a lot of financial income, retaking and retaking and new programs and new study things and tutoring. I would say tutoring really did help me. There was a lot that I learned from external resources that helped with tutoring, but just picking that one program and sticking with it. And there’s a couple out there, so you know, if you need recommendations on that, I won’t kind of say that on here, but you’re more than welcome to connect with me and what helped me the most, but choosing wisely in that because you get a lot of impartial intakes out of that. So yeah.

Kayla: I love everything you just shared and like there were so practical resources. You know, therapy. As therapist, therapy is always a great resource. Having those social networks.

I took a licensing exam a few years ago, say a few years ago. It’s probably 15-20 now. But anyway, it was in recreation therapy, it was a CTRS exam and something I realized, and I’ve actually talked to some social workers who’ve taken the clinical exam as well.

A lot of the exam is very structured. It’s obviously there’s the content that you need to learn in it. But it’s almost like set up the same every time. It’s not the same questions, but it’s almost like a structure. Like you’ll have so many of this type or so many of that type. And again, not sure if that’s the case with a psychologist exam, but I notice that.

And since I’ve been hearing other people say the same, that’s also good for people to know that sometimes there’s more of like a process which you can kind of get in of, oh, I’m going to probably have a certain amount like, like this.

And I’ll give you an example. I remember one about like just assessments, right? And if you look at all the practice tests, it was about assessments and you kind of knew that there was going to be one about assessments, but you didn’t know what kind, but you knew there was going to be at least one about it. So you can kind of focus on that.

The point is that because there’s a structure sometimes if you can kind of determine from some of these practice exams, that can also help you along the way too. Instead of feeling like, oh, I don’t know what is going to be on the exam.

Vanessa: Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. I think that was what the tutor probably helped me with the most, and I knew that there was like a process when I went into the exam, but I couldn’t figure it out. So I think what I struggled with in school so much was actually applying the information, and you’ll hear that all the time, like, we’ll just apply the information.

For some reason, my brain just really struggles with that analytical component of applying, which is funny because I’m a psychologist, so I’m to analyze things. But it’s something that I could not for the life of me do with multiple choice questions. And especially when you have two, they’re so similar. And then you’re like, and then probably a piece of me was like, I cannot trust my judgment that I couldn’t trust my judgment. Is it this one or this one? And then, I’d get in my own head being like, well, if I think it’s this one, it must be the other one because I’m not correct or I’m not right in that answer. And there was, again, that was like me not being able to trust my judgment and I can’t make a decision and then I’m like, well, I’m going to fail anyway. So it probably getting in my own head about those things.

But that was something the tutor really helped me with was to be like, okay, you know what you’re doing. And it really helped with like building that confidence and then being like, here’s the process of here you go. How do you do a multiple choice? How do you wean out which answers are just the crap answers and which ones are the two of the best? And then which one’s the most likely that yes, have you read this? Have you seen it before? Has it come across any of your material? Is it a gut feeling or is it a head feeling that you know this logically? And so it really helped decipher that as well, like because that gut feeling sometimes like, yes, as much as it is pretty correct, a lot. There are times when you are answering things from the gut being like, and then you’re kind of winging it and it’s not really logic. So it really helped me to kind of pinpoint those things and really listening to your body as well that it’s like, Nope, I know this, or, hmm, that’s probably my gut telling me something different so.

Kayla: I love that. One more question. So we talked about a lot of the practical pieces. Do you have any advice, tips, or insights on how to navigate the internal stuff, right? Like the things that someone could do for themselves to minimize or navigate the self-doubt, self-criticism, fear of failure, all of those things.

Vanessa: Great question. Kind of sticky notes. Let’s say that I had sticky notes all over my room in my study area and they were all over the wall being like I can do this. I am capable, I am smart, I’m knowledgeable. Thoughts are not facts. And really just like making sure that I could counter everything and I would be like, you know what you’re doing.

And then at some point friends and family would come over and they would add sticky notes on the wall, being like, you got this, you’re capable. And really having that support. So I would say those affirmations really, really helped me and they were personalized that I can be successful, that it didn’t matter, even if I failed this EPPP, even if this was my last and final attempt. I had another plan, another dream would’ve been set in motion and I would’ve been successful at that dream too. So it was really about believing in myself, knowing my self-worth, and that I could overcome whatever challenge it is. So those affirmations really, really helped.

Focusing on the somatic stuff as well was really, really helpful. Doing the EMDR helped to desensitize myself to that, but it wasn’t until I really started listening to my body and noticing that anxiety in my hands as I was writing, or like my neck and shoulders. And I probably still have neck control problems from hunching over in that exam and studying.

But really just taking those breaks and stretching and doing calm plays, being able to tap through my calm place, regulating my breath, closing my eyes, like sitting there and taking that 30 seconds, one minute to close your eyes and being like, that time will make me more productive. And taking those small micro breaks as you’re studying and really walking away from your information and then coming back to it.

Having snacks, right? Eating and taking those like snacks as well. Just listening to your body that it’s like, Nope, I need this right now. I need to fuel up and energize.

As well as like working out. Working out became like a really big piece of my life at that time and I had to take care of my body. Body and mind are so interconnected and I really had to practice working out and re-grounding and centering myself. As well as mindfulness practices. I actually started a lot of my study periods doing some mindfulness practices and just setting that intention for that study period time that I was going to participate in. As well as before I went into the exam, it would’ve been, I was jamming out to some music and then I kind of just sat in silence for a minute and just did a mindfulness practice before I walked in.

So I think re-grounding and centering your body to really focus and be in tune with it is much needed to help with those internal things that kept coming up. Beause a lot of somatic things will tell you what you’re needing in that moment. And then for the brain, the affirmations and really keeping that positive perspective.

Kayla: I love that. Vanessa, are you currently accepting clients into your practice?

Vanessa: I am. Yes, and I do have the team as well that is also accepting people and they’re going through that process. So being able to mentor and help them is part of that growth. And they’re more than capable of also taking on clients as well. And we all deal with different walks of life. So, we see individuals, couples, families, teens, all the way to seniors and all different modalities we use from cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, accelerated resolution therapy. We do integrative therapy, sports performance, quite a few different perspectives. So yes, we are definitely taking on new clients at this time.

Kayla: Lovely. Which jurisdictions are you working in?

Vanessa: So we currently see anyone living and residing in the Alberta jurisdiction, Edmonton, Alberta, and we can see online anywhere else in Alberta.

Kayla: Amazing. So to book a therapy consultation with Vanessa or her team, check out pearlpsychological.com

Or simply scroll down to the show notes and click on the link.

Also, I know that as we are recording this episode, you are co-authoring a book by the time this episode goes live it may or may not be out for purchase just yet, but can you tell us a little bit about the book, what it’s called, what it’s about, and where you anticipate it to be purchased from?

Vanessa: Yes, definitely. Thank you so much for noting that. And the book will be called Mindset Coward: Lying Our Way to the Truth, and it’s going to be about kind of those moments of courage that we do take.

So the chapters are going to be an acronym of courage, and the first part of the chapter will be the lie, and then the second part of the chapter will be the truth. Coming to that full courage instead of sticking in that mindset coward.

And so there’s four authors, myself being one of them, and we’re sharing bits and pieces of our stories. We’re all from different lifelines and backgrounds, and so it will be kind of a full encompass of sharing our stories and what the lie was that we told ourself and the truth that we needed to change our perspective to get to the other side, so to speak.

And so this book will be out sometime in the fall or end of the year, and it can be bought on Amazon and probably in other ways. So check us out, and it will be on my website for a waiting list if the book isn’t out by the time this episode airs.

Kayla: Amazing. Vanessa, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today to discuss how to overcome failing a therapist licensing exam.

Vanessa: Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate this and I hope that I was able to touch a piece of something that listeners might connect with and help you move forward from there.

Kayla: And thank you everyone for tuning into today’s episode, and I hope you join me again soon on The Designer Practice Podcast.

Until next time. Bye for now.

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